In the Pit
I was sliding down into the pit of death, and he pulled me out.
He brought me up out of the mud and dirt. He set my feet on a rock.
He gave me a firm place to stand on.
(Psalm 40:2 NIV)
There is nothing worse than being in a pit of despair, wondering if you will ever get out, if the pain will ever go away, and if you will ever feel normal and happy again. Then to further complicate things, the “encouragers” arrive on the scene, making the situation go from bad to worse.
First along is the spiritual person who shouts down he will pray for you but then proceeds to hurry by. He considers his duty done and leaves with a clear conscience. He doesn’t have time to stop because he is too busy serving God.
The next person is also very spiritual but, unlike the first person, she does stop for a minute to throw some scripture at you. She cries “the joy of the Lord is your strength,” the inference being if you just stand on this bit of scripture you will be fine. Your response is “I know that, but how do I tap into joy when all I can feel is pain and anguish and my life is in pieces?”
The third person to come along tells you to have faith because without faith it is impossible to please Him. Now you feel even worse because apparently you are a weak Christian who cannot stand on the Word. Now you worry if you can’t dredge up the faith, does it mean God is going to leave you in the pit? And you sink further into despair.
Finally, a friendly voice shouts, “Hang on, I’m coming down. I’ve been there, and I know the way out. I will walk with you and guide you to the exit.” This person actually descends into the pit and sits with you and listens, really listens, as you pour your heart out. Then he takes your hand, saying, “Let’s go, I will lead. Just follow me.”
When someone is struggling, she doesn’t need words thrown at her. What she needs is someone who has been there, who has experienced her pain, and can truly appreciate her struggle. Often words are not even needed, just the presence of a warm, caring human being sitting with her is enough.
Joseph Bayly, who lost three sons, wrote about his grief in his book, The View from a Hearse.
I was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God’s dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly, he said things I knew were true. I was unmoved, except to wish he’d go away. He finally did.
Another came and sat beside me. He didn’t talk. He didn’t ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour or more, listened when I said something, answered briefly, prayed simply, left. I was moved. I was comforted. I hated to see him go.
God shows us in the story of Elijah how He treats bruised, damaged people. The prophet was exhausted and despondent. He had run away into the wilderness and curled up under a bush in despair. He wanted God to take his life (1 Kings 19:4). But God sent an angel to him who made him a meal and then told him to sleep some more. After he awoke the second time, the angel cooked him another meal. It was only after that did God start speaking to His prophet.
God knows we consist of both body and soul. That sometimes means we need rest and sustenance before the healing can begin, before we can stand on His Word and start the walk out of the pit.
A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out (Isaiah 42:3 NIV).
In Timothy Keller’s book, Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, he talks about this verse.
The Hebrew word “bruise” does not mean a minor injury. It means a deep contusion that destroys a vital internal organ—a death blow. Applied to a person it means an injury that does not show on the surface but is nonetheless fatal. Suffering people need to be able to weep and pour out their hearts and not be shut down by being told what to do.
Jesus always treated the bruised with gentleness and kindness. We should follow His example. Instead of throwing casual, worn-out phrases or scriptures at a hurting person, we need to get in the pit, take the time to sit with them, and listen. Only then, when they are ready, should we take their hand and lead them out.
If you are in the pit and none of your friends are coming for you, know there is one Friend who always will. When you are being led out of the pit, look down at the hand that is leading you. You may well find it is a nail-pierced one.
