Letter to Lisa

I wrote this letter to a precious friend who had just lost her brother. In eighteen months, she had faced the loss of her dad due to a car accident, the death of her step-dad as a result of a long-term illness, and then the death of her baby brother who had committed suicide. She gave me permission to put it in this book in the hope it might help someone facing a similar tragedy.

What do you say to a friend who has lost loved one after loved one? How do you comfort her when it culminates in losing the baby brother she took care of and mothered when they were growing up?

Do I tell her God is still in heaven and still on His throne? He is. Do I tell her He takes care of the broken-hearted and heals them? He does. Do I tell her He aches with her and holds every tear close to His heart? He has her every tear stored in a bottle. Do I tell her she will see her brother again? Yes, she will, without a doubt. Do I tell her her brother fought a disability bravely for many years and she should be proud of him? I know that she is.

Do I tell her her brother stepped through the door straight into the arms of Jesus? He did. Do I tell her sometimes God heals on the other side of the grave? I don’t understand why, but He does. Do I tell her her brother is at peace, no longer in pain, and in the arms of Jesus, and what better place can there be? I can, but that is small comfort to her right now. Do I tell her I understand her pain? I don’t. I cannot possibly understand the anguish and heartbreak she is feeling right now.

What I can tell her, during this terrible time, is that she has a spiritual family whom she has never met. Her family in Christ at my church, who prayed for her and continue to pray for her. One of these family members, while sitting in vigil at the bedside of his dying friend, took the time to pray for her, and who, the day after his friend died, had her on the forefront of his mind, and despite his own pain took the time to ask how she was doing. I can remind her she has amazing friends in her life, who showed their love in the outpouring of gifts for her new home. I can remind her of the two beautiful daughters and the son God gave her.

I can tell her she has the kindest, most generous heart of anyone I have ever met. That she took the time to find help for an ill cat whose owner would have been devastated if she had lost her precious pet. That she filled Christmas stockings with gifts she could ill afford to buy to make sure children had a Christmas. That she is the first person to step up whenever anyone is in need and, when friends are going through their own heartbreak, she is there with them every step of the way, comforting and encouraging them. I can tell her how much her friendship and loyalty has meant to me, and thank her for the love and care she has shown me during my times of heartache. I can tell her God sees her gentle, humble heart, which is so precious to Him.

And the last thing I can tell her is God loves her so much He would rather die a horrific death on a cross than be in heaven without her. That same God has her in His hands, taking care of her and protecting her. When He died, He looked down through the annals of time and saw her face and said, “It is worth every ounce of pain and every drop of blood to have her as My child.”

The hopeless grief will eventually give way to peace. Keep holding on to your friends and most importantly, keep holding on to Him because He is holding you every step of the way.